Why I may be infatuated with Simon Cowell...

In the past few weeks or so I have developed an inexplicable infatuation with Simon Cowell (think, American Idol). I’ve thought a bit about why this is, and can only really come to the following conclusions:

1. He is rich.
2. He appreciates talent and hates non-talent.
3. He basically rules the music industry.

With those conclusions I believe that it is safe to say that I aspire to be a sort of Simon Cowell, though my career track will likely never take me in that direction (one can dream though right?).

As someone who likes to think of themselves as well-versed in Top 40 music (pop in particular) I can appreciate someone who understands how to navigate the industry. Unfortunately Top 40 music IS NOT all about good music, but can include a whole lot of bad music too (think Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers). While I personally seek to pick out the good in a whole lot of bad, I appreciate the fact that Simon Cowell knows how to pick out the marketable. Here are two examples:

Susan Boyle. There is no real reason that she should be famous. Yeah she’s sort of talented, but let’s be real she’s no Celine or Mariah. Yet she was one of the top selling artists of 2009. Because of Simon Cowell. The second that moment on Britain’s Got Talent happened Simon jumped on the opportunity that arose. He knew that a jillion middle aged women would totally fall for Susan Boyle, because they would sort of see themselves in her. And they did, and she sold a bajillion copies of her album. I mean, she doesn’t even have a marketable single on it! Craziness. I draw this akin to Titanic. Susan Boyle had the Titanic-factor. Not the X Factor, the Titanic-factor. Simon exploited the shit out of it. I salute him.

X Factor America. First of all let me just comment that I am SO stoked for X Factor America. If you don’t know anything about the X Factor UK just know that it is a way better version of a talent search (pop groups!) and that it will take over all of our lives. Promise. The thing that blows my mind about FOX being so willing to sign on to it is this: Simon OWNS it. Which means that HE has the creative license to do whatever the fuck he wants with it. He can pick the judges, he can pick the musical guests, and he gets to sign the winner to his label. So the bigger winner FOX, is not your network, but Mr. Cowell. Furthermore, I have a theory: Simon will use the X Factor to launch all of his UK signed acts that haven’t made it big in the US yet. So instead of performances by Rihanna and the Black Eyed Peas, think performances by Alexandra Burke, Joe McElderrey, Leona Lewis. AND, X Factor America won’t premier until mid/late 2011, which means he gets to play with 18 months of speculation. Simon wins.

So for all the people out there who hate Simon Cowell, or don’t understand why being an asshole has made him famous, think about this. He’s actually a genius. And I sort of love him. ;-)